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The Crook Poets Society 



Rubbish, rubbish everywhere
But nothing there to eat
Broken bottles on the ground
Playing havoc with my feet


No rain up in the sky
Nor water in my bucket
Nothing to eat or drink again
Fucket, Fucket, Fucket







Moonlight sways
To the Steve Miller Band
As she leads him around
With his dick in her hand


And writes of her love
In the shifting sand ...
Then whisked away to a far-off land


Where the Warlords gather
And the battlements manned
He writes of his love
With the blood on his hand…


In a flash of white light

And that's the end






Soft light
Through window breaks
From stars and half moon
Riding high on a black velvet sky


With my eyes
I reach to touch and caress
The subtle lines
And tones of your body


Half a moon
Half a night
Half a lifetime
Just beginning


Skrreeech...  Crap!  Here we go
Crap! Crap! Double Crap! ...
Shoot my dumb butt off
And kill me








Hey wait a minute

What are you doing here

Run to me please run to me

Take my hand


Here for you and here for me

Believe in me believe in you

Hey can't you see it hey can you see

Let me in please let me in


I’ll set you free I’ll set you free

Give peace a chance

Give peace in your heart a chance

Walk with me and talk with me


SteveFitz 23/09/2017





Imagine only you in this world

Only you alone in this world

Walking alone only you

Take my hand please take my hand


Can’t you see oh can’t you see

Believe in you believe in me

Give peace a chance

Let me in please let me in


Imagine only me in this world

Walking alone searching for you

I love you I love you Love me too

Here with you now and here with me


SteveFitz 08/09/2017





(1) When I do something stupid -  You go and stuff it up!
(2) Can you tell me to shut up, I’m giving myself the shits.
(3) I love you regardless of my behaviour.
(4) After the beach.  S: My little camelion - You’re a beautiful colour...  Anne’: What, am I turning green
(5) Take me for granted, not seriously.
(6) I want to be beautiful for you.  But, when I look in the mirror it’s still me again

(7) September ... Anne':  I’m going to go and get my beauty sleep. Stephen: See you at Christmas
(9) S: You could stop smoking if you wanted to. A: You could have a sex change operation if you wanted too
(10) S: That’s the dumbest thing you’ve said all day! A: I haven’t been here all day.
(11) Anne’ thinking about her death....  I’m going to start crying, I miss myself already.
(12) I can feel myself getting that vacant look.
(13) A: Shut up you bastard..............    A: What did you say?
(14) Anne’ in a mini skirt... “This is my last shot at it - I refuse to grow old gracefully”
(15) Anne’: I know I ask a lot from you - But, you deserve it.....
(16) Stephen: I’m glade they didn’t come over... Anne’: So are they!
(17) Stephen: Are you ovulating? Anne’: No. I’m just about to pass out....
(18) Anne’: Thank god I made dinner at 5 o’clock this morning!
(19) Anne’ with bandaids all over her arms. Q: Did the cat scratch you again? No! I bit myself and blamed the cat
(20) Next Day - S: Hows the cat?  Anne’: We haven’t had a fight yet.

(21) S: Work your problems out... A: It's too late - It's 10 years down the track and you put him up to it you bastard - He tore my arm off - I'm going to sue the fucking cat. S: It's tough at the top. 

(22) S: Did you say Oh! or meow! - Anne': I said "Fuck off you moron".

(23) Mr. Vincent, why are you looking so hesitant. It shouldn't stop us going for a walk just because it's pissing down with rain. Mr. V: Meow...
(24) Anne’ thinking about having a Christmas turkey. Mid-September - I hate that turkey already!
(25) Lets go shopping together so we can have a fight!
(26) Forgive me Lord for using your name in vain but, Christ Stephen’s a dickhead
(27) Things come and go in life including yourself...
(28) Don’t look at me like your stupid .....
(29) S: When I’m old and senile will you get me fixed?  A: You are old and senile!
(30) Phone: I’ll drop in and see you sometime, if I can remember where you live.  By the way, who am I talking to?
(31) It’s your fault I’m fat.... I’d rather be miserable and skinny
(32) Love is loving me no matter how much I stuff up
(33) If I was me I’d follow in my own footsteps !

(34) S: Don't discourage my imagination... A: I'm not, you should see what I'm seeing.

(35) Anne': I forgot what I was saying... Lucky for you!

(36) S: I love your new pink heart dressing gown - It's got princess written all over it. Anne': It's got cat hair, snot, dried egg and vomit written all over it.

(37) S: Finally, the rain is gone, the sun is out and the temperature is nice but it still feels a little bit humid. A: I can't feel anything.

(38) Anne' at the doctors - D:  Hows your vision  A: Your both looking realy well.

(39) A: It's not a shandy it's a Gandhi.

(40) S: I'm going to celebrate your birthday whether you like it or not - How old are you again?


Anne' Padman




He jumped up for a cuddle

And caught me under the chin

His head was in a muddle

My vision started to thin


Who was the bravest going to be...

Was it the 3yrs 10 1/2 month old, or Grandpa me

He didn’t know whether to run for Mum

Or stand his ground and claim his right


This is serious shit... Shite...

I had to think fast before I passed out

Spinning stars and tweety birds - Muscle up and fight

I'm not gona let this little monkey win the bout.


So I told him straight as a gun...

I'm seein stars and tweety birds

Pull out your top pocket little one

Lets stuff it full of tweety birds


The first was too quick around my head

But there were lots here abouch

Got one take it - And it's not dead

More, more, more - Take em - Ouch!!


The little bastard bit me 


It's got my by the finger see

Hold it up - Which one - This one Grandpa...


The middle one...  Crap...

You kids wear me out

I'm going for my knap

Love yah Pop - I won the bout


Buy the way how’s your head

Fine, he said looking rather clever

Oh not to be 65 but 3 1/2 instead

To be indestructible and live forever







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